blogging

Creative writing gig?

/ dashtikalin / Leave a comment

I’m obviously not the best blogger on the planet. Shocking, right?? I mean, I’m bad about uploading on time, if at all. Schedules are my enemy. My life isn’t interesting enough to produce a lot of content for writing. I’ve discovered I’m all around terrible at marketing myself as a blogger. I’m basically the rebellious teenager of bloggers. I want to keep up for the sake of forcing myself to try something new and actually follow through with a project I started for once. I’m kind of tired of being the queen of projects started but never finished. However, I’m also discovering blogging is not the pièce de résistance of projects I enjoy.

Don’t get me wrong, blogging can be fun and a great creative outlet for me sometimes. But my true love when it comes to writing is creative writing. Technically this blog is a kind of creative writing, sure. However it’s not exactly the kind of creative writing I dream about. My creative writing love is found in the world of fantasy and fiction. Writing books about stories I created is the dream and goal I had when I majored in creative writing in college. I had even been working on a book for years before college. Now looking back, that book was pretty terrible in a lot of ways… But I loved writing it so much. I loved writing so much. Being able to create an entirely new world in my head and articulate it on paper for the enjoyment of others felt like my destiny and purpose in life, and it was a hobby I enjoyed with every fiber of my being.

These days, however, I don’t write much anymore outside of Facebook and blogging. It’s not because I no longer enjoy it, I just never feel motivated to start writing because I have this huge fear it will be another project I’ll never finish. And I hate not finishing books. I wish I could blame my lack of motivation on my kids, but that would be oversimplifying the real issue. My creative dry patch started in college. I had so many studies and so little time management skills, a lot of my creative hobbies flew right out the window. I joined an art class in hopes that it would help mold my artistic abilities and it burned me out so badly, I didn’t draw anything for years afterwards. I still rarely draw, and I used to draw every single day in high school. The same thing happened with writing. My English/writing classes were so drab and bland, I just lost all motivation to write creatively. I wrote well in my classes, but they were informative papers, not creative.

As far as my book went, I had a huge case of writer’s block. I think I still may have it a little. But something I read recently gave me hope. I had been poking around online to see what are good ways to make a little extra money online when I came across an article written by a man who had recently experimented in the business of writing short stories to essentially self publish and sell cheaply in online book stores. This made me so excited. I may not be able to sit down and write an entire novel, but I can definitely convince myself to write a short story. I could probably pump out a short story a week if I really wanted to. And now you’re telling me I could also make a little cash doing what I love? Sign me the heck up! This is exactly what I think I need to get my foot back in the door to the creative writing world. Even if I write these stories and make no money at all, I will be happy to at least get my creative juices flowing again. Fingers crossed writing again will help me get my passion back.

Debt, debt, and more debt

/ dashtikalin / 1 Comment

I’ve known of Dave Ramsey’s existence for years now, but I never really sat down and tried to understand his method. My mother-in-law is a HUGE Dave Ramsey fan and had made my husband learn all about Dave Ramsey’s methods and teachings and such. So when we finally moved in together after getting married, he just kind of naturally took over the finances and I took over the house. I trusted that he had better education on how to manage a budget than I did since my parents never really talked about budgeting with me growing up. I trusted that he would make sensible financial decisions and just went on my merry way living life and pouring all of my energy into trying to navigate my life as a new wife and mother. It was not only our first time living in our own place together, but we moved in with our first son hundreds of miles away from any familiar face. There was a lot of struggling on my end. I struggled with managing a household for thr first time. I struggled with all of a sudden being in charge of not only cleaning up after more people than myself, but actually feeding more people than myself. I struggled with not having any support other than my husband and long distance phone calls from my family. I struggled with trying to find compatibility with my husband who was, as most men are, totally different to live with than he was to date. I struggled with navigating my first child’s life with no family around to support me. And did I mention I am a horrible housecleaner and cook? I have always been that chaotic creative kind of messy person and there was one time I literally burned water on the stove. I burned it. But these things don’t mesh well with being a stay at home mom. You just can’t live in a trashed house when you have a baby. And you can’t starve yourself and your family just because you can’t cook. I was swimming in all these first time experiences and had no idea what to do with myself.

As I struggle with my new home life, my husband was struggling too. I love the man to death but he is far too attracted by shiny things… expensive shiny things. This was our first problem. Our second problem was that my husband saw how I was struggling and had no idea how to make things better for me. So he resorted to gift giving, the only love language he knows how to show me. And I don’t mean fine jewels and such kind of gifts. I mean like taking us out to eat so I won’t have to cook that night kind of gifts. Or cute small things I see at the local walmart that I like, such as makeup and sometimes even clothes. Somewhat practical gifts, but still expensive and not in our budget. And I was too self absorbed to realize we were living outside our means until it was too late. Even when I did start noticing suspicious things like him using what looked like a credit card, I didn’t say anything for way too long because I was afraid of offending him by second guessing his financial decisions. We were newlyweds and I was still lacking so much confidence at that point in my life. So I let these poor spending habits go on and on for too long until eventually my husband was the one to admit to me that we had a problem. I tried to write out budgets more than once, but none of them ever stuck. Looking back, I think I was way overcomplicating the budgets and it was just not working out for either of us. We also struggled a lot with communicating what/when we were spending money (I say “we” but realistically I was not the one spending money).

The budgets didn’t work and we essentially dug ourselves into a nice little pit. Recently, however, I have been in a position of unusual power in the household. I am now solely in charge of the finances. I sat myself down and watched videos on the Dave Ramsey’s financial freedom methods and have written up a comprehensive budget that does distinctly highlight savings, but also allows for a small amount of freedom money to have some fun. We are currently working on our emergency fund and then I will promptly start our debt snowball after that is finished. Sitting down and really adding up all of our debt was really hard for me. I am not proud of how far we’ve fallen, but I know what we need to do to remedy our problems and I am excited to start the process. Sitting down and put together a clear game plan has helped me so much. Knowing exactly what steps I need to take to chip away at our debt is exactly what I needed to move forward with really getting somewhere with our finances. I feel so relieved to finally know what I am doing with my life. This will be a long and difficult journey, but I’m ready and I will drag my poor husband with me whether he likes it or not. Our financial communication has come a long way and I am reallu proud of how we have matured together. I wish we didn’t have to build so much debt to get here, but that’s life. Know better, do better. Fingers crossed this budget and financial plan works for us!

RIP my blog

/ dashtikalin / Leave a comment

I’ve been pretty noticeably quiet lately… Why? Well, for one thing, every time I sit down and muster up the motivation to write something, it’s an email to a loved one. This is something I did not consider when I started my blog. Such a dumb oversight on my part! Another reason is I am starting to get preggers as hell and surprise surprise! Pregnancy is slowly turning me into a miserable pile of snacky laziness. Seriously, I can barely muster up the motivation to keep up with basic household chores. It’s pathetic. Lastly, and probably my biggest but realest excuse, I SUCK at time management. Just absolutely horrible at it. So at the end of the day it’s easier for me to set my hobbies to the side for the sake of focusing all of my energy into keeping up with my kids’ needs.

Being a responsible parent is great and everything, but it kills me that I know deep down I could be a responsible parent and a bomb ass hobbyist if I optimized my time usage. And hobbies like blogging could be so lucrative if I could just put the time and effort into it! So I could do a hobby I enjoy (creative writing) and I would get paid for it?? YES PLEASE. But ya girl just isn’t quite there yet. Why? Because I apparently don’t know how to balance parenting with cleaning and Facebooking. I am inclined to believe this is a tragedy that is not at all unique to me. Time management seems to be a very relatable struggle in the parenting community. Nonetheless, I know it is something that can be overcome, so fixing it will be my new project from now on.

To start, I think I should admit that my plan to blog 5 times a week was a bit overzealous. Let’s be real, here. I have 2 crazy toddlers and I’m pregnant with another already crazy spawn that saps my energy and makes me fat. I’m tired of being that depressing chick who watches YouTube videos of other people practicing their beloved hobbies. It’s time for me to have hobbies of my own! So I’m thinking of cutting down to a Monday/Wednesday/Friday upload schedule and see if that’s more feasible for me. Uploading 5 days a week was a cute idea, but I’m no Tati Westbrook. That woman is a goddess. Specifically, Saraswati. Because there’s no way she can accomplish all she does without 1) being some kind of celestial deity, and 2) having multiple arms. Since I’m a mere, simple human, however, I will test out my M/W/F schedule and see how that goes.

So if you don’t see me update my blog, just shake your head at me. Because I’m most likely fine, I just didn’t organize my time well enough to fit blog writing into my day. I do see all these other social media influencers warning their followers before they go on hiatus and it makes me cringe every time because I know I absolutely suck at doing that. This is how I am in real life, too. I will randomly have an introverted brain fart and will just neglect contacting family and friends. What can I say? I am a terrible human. I’m sorry. I will try to give more warning before I drop off the face of the earth, but don’t consider this any kind of promise! Most of the time neglecting to keep people updated on my life is not on purpose. I am just accustomed to being private, so telling people when I don’t have time to blog just isn’t something that even crosses my mind.

Summary: I’m way too accustomed to being a hermit. Bear with me.

Work from home… how exactly?

/ dashtikalin / Leave a comment

As I shared in my last post, this momma is looking to upgrade her housing situation. That means I have to make at least 1k a month to make up for the money we’d lose, according to my agreement with my husband. How will I do this? Here’s my secret: I HAVE NO IDEA. Per usual, I am flying by the seat of my pants. I have been scouring the internet all day for ideas on jobs I can do from home. There seem to be a lot of call center options and tech support options. Then there’s babysitting/nannying. Teaching Chinese children how to speak English via online lessons. But if I’m going to start working and trying to make money, I really want to find something I’ll enjoy/be good at, otherwise this whole thing will wear me down. And I’m already pretty worn down as it is just from daily life as a mother of two toddlers and 2 big dogs. I know, I know. Beggars can’t be choosers. I shouldn’t be so picky when I really do desperately need to get out of my current neighborhood. But that’s why I’m giving this blogging thing a solid try again. And on top of that, I’m going to try to finally indulge my crafty side and start selling homemade items online. We’ll see how that goes. I am famous for making these ambitious plans, only to gwt burnt out and not follow through. My long term goal is to finish my studying so I can officially start the process for becoming a certified birthing instructor. Birthing instruction is just one of my passions, plain and simple. But that goal will take a lot of time and money, so in the meantime I will have to rely on etsy and wordpress to help me realize my dreams of living in a house that fits my family. I can just see it now… We finally live in a house that fits our family’s needs. No more small rooms overcrowded with furniture. I’ll actually have room to decorate with adorable things. We’ll have weekly meetings in my living room for birthing classes where I’ll teach new parents on how to navigate the ups and downs of childbirth. My kids will finally have room to play and dogs will have room to run in the house without knocking toddlers over and running into walls. Each child will have their own room and own personal space. It’ll be amazing. I’m honestly getting myself way more worked up than I should. Making 1k a month is a pretty tall order for someone working from home. Everyone nowadays wants to work from home, so the competition is fierce. So many people blog, too. And so many sell crafts on etsy. I have to admit, this makes me feel like I’m not very special or unique. At this point I might as well start a photography business so I can be even more run-of-the-mill than I already am. My greatest wish is that people who come across my blog and wares on etsy feel entertained by my services and come back for more. I want them to like me for me, not because I’m just another blog to follow or just another ship to love. The market is competitive, so I’m going to have to bring something unique to the table if I’m going to be taken seriously and build a business. We’ll see how all this works out. Hopefully by the end of the year I’ll be blogging from a new, spacious house!